PB Camp 27-29 Dec 2013

PB camp'13 was absolutely the best. Go HENIZE!
Though Henize was a bunch of awkward people, and the first day we just didn't speak much. But things slowly become better as we got closer to each other. So yay! My members were Fedora, Jia Xuan, Agnes, Qing Mei, Amanda Chia and Geetha! I had such a fun time at PB camp especially the last night where we played that game which just made me run so much! And while my team were still yet to come out from the AVA, we heard the screams and it felt like a horror movie(so much screams and it was dark). Not to mention Macs at like 1am! Got to bond with my fellow Sec 3/4s through Macs! A big shoutout to the creative and great EXCO! Looking forward to my last half year in PB!

Why is it that whenever I say something, I just have to regret it later and feel that I'm being judged and shamed by what I said? Is this what I have become after living 15 years in this place, in this era where people do judge?

I can't help it. People, including myself, always say, 'Don't judge.'
But I can't help but judge. The first thing when I see others is to judge, but I do try and push it down so it doesn't affect my view of the person as I get to know them better.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to forget that it ever happened, and maybe, just maybe go back to square one. Or where it all started. Or maybe pretending that nothing ever happened between people. And that is what I thought of life and all it's foolishness. But it has come to my realisation and attention that we, as Man, are indeed the foolish one, not life. For if we get tripped over and fooled by life itself when life just sits back and do nothing but trips us, then who is the obvious foolish one? Obviously us. But what really matters and what the world doesn't see is the effort behind it. When one falls, the whole world watches, some may laugh, some may say a little prayer, but they will soon forget the little one as time passes by. Only the loved ones see the effort made by the man, that he will brace through his pains, no matter how much he is going through and pushed himself off from the ground. That is with the support of his loved ones and his friends. And we all wished to be that little man, don't we?

Today :-)

Ok, this is it! I really think that I'm my blog's only reader. But I do want people to read it though...

So anyways, it's just a normal boring day today, and my second last CCA session for the year is just tomorrow. My friend, V, is going overseas today and I do remember that just this day last week, my mom, grandma, sister and I were to leave for the cruise, I still remember my mom bringing me to eat Japanese food for lunch and then we came back home. She told my sister and I that we were to get ready by 3.45pm to meet our grandma at the bus stop, then we'll take a cab to the boarding area. I really miss the cruise. I love love love you, Costa Victoria!!!

I never knew that. I was so far behind,
That I would always seem like a greedy person,
Too blinded by selfishness.
And that sometimes,
Even if I would want to change,
I don't know how.

Finished with the Cruise

Woohoo! Just came back yesterday from the holiday cruise, Costa Victoria. We stopped by Malacca and Penang where I finally got to have a taste of the famous Penang Laksa. But what really strike me most out of this whole trip is the first day when we arrived on board the cruise at 4.30, even though it sets sail at 10pm. We just rushed straight to Deck 11 for some buffet. And explored the ship. Now, my head's spinning, and I still feel as if I'm on the cruise. It was a wonderful 3 nights stay on board the Costa Victoria, the captain being Pablo Viscafe.

By the way, have I mentioned that I only have 2 more CCA lessons left for the year??

Piggy Me

It's a cold cold day, where it's a great day to pig out. I started the day off with Chinese tuition and spent my afternoon pigging out on whatever is around the house and watching TV. Yes, I have a lot of homework that I've yet to complete... At least I finished my English homework today and about 70% of my Chinese homework.
It's the rainy season now in Singapore and I love it because everyday it's naturally cool and there is no lightning nor thunder, just rain. I'm really scared of thunder and lightning. Maybe living in the tropics aren't so bad after all. But the hot season is really bad, I don't even need to exercise and I can just sweat like a piggy pig. What's more, it is during school days, which just makes it worse.
Moving on, I remembered a quote that I saw on the wall of my former tuition place, and I thought about sharing it:
                               'A Pessimist sees the DIFFICULTY in every OPPORTUNITY,
                                An Optimist sees the OPPORTUNITY in every DIFFICULTY.'
                                                      -- William Churchill
And with that, I shall end off.

It's finally over!

Whee! It's finally over!!! My guzheng grading exam is finally over! I just ended it about an hour ago, and I'm really relieve that it's finally over! After all the horrible practices that I had to go through this year, the day have arrived and the moment, gone. To all my fellow guzheng friends out there who have yet to take theirs, good luck and all the best.

THE DAY

Tomorrow is THE DAY! The long awaited Guzheng Grade 4 exam. Hope that I'll do well and at least get a 79! I pray that anxiety will not get the better of me...

The drama

Oh gosh, who ever would have thought that my school would have so many dramas behind that smiling faces? I'm really blessed to have such great friends, such that I never have to face such social dramas, friendship problems. Reading up on schoolmates, it seems that 2013 have been a tough year for them, where friendships are being put to the test, close friends to enemies, or vice versa. All those backstabbing, gossiping, thank goodness it have never happened to any of my friends.

Contrasting my situation with theirs, I still don't see why people go through this problem. Isn't it just holding on and letting go sometimes? I'm certainly glad that my friends allow and forgive me for being selfish and annoying at times. They are also willing to help and protect me. They certainly will never gossip about me, because I know that they are just like me.

                    'Birds of a feather flock together.'

I guess it is really true. My friends all think alike and we do not put each other down. Even if we do feel jealousy towards each other, we'll tell it to the straight in their faces, and we help each other to improve. Isn't it a win-win situation? Why put yourself through the pain of backstabbing and ruining your friendship? Backstabbing never works, it makes things worse.

Thus, I would like to thank my friends, for allowing me to skip the drama and for being there for me. Always. Thank you.

From a very grateful me,
Me

P.S perfect song for this post:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

The real me

 

 

 

"We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realised they were inside us."

 

That is true. I do think of myself as a perfect little girl, where I am above everyone else, and that everything and everyone are just monsters, scaring me as I cradle myself to sleep. But that was just an illusion, one that I have been living in for years, until I am able to wake up from this false dimension and appreciate the good aspects of others, and find my own flaws. All these while, all the things that I have done, will no doubt be selfish deeds, one that is objected with the main goal of satisfying me, myself and I. That is what the 'monster' inside me is doing, that is what I am doing.

 

In this world of reality, there is no other monsters other than us, ourselves. It is what scares us, but the scarier thing is, that some of us may not know of the one in us.

 

Acknowledgements:

*The link is too long, but credits for the picture belongs to Google, no copyright intended.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

28/11/13

Today, is unofficially the last Guzheng lesson during CCA, because the next few lessons, only 2 more CCA practices, is only used for Hezhou, which is used for preparation of next year's performances! But the bad thing is, my guzheng grading exam is on Sunday, which means I've got to practice really hard for the next few days, oh how I wish that my exam was tomorrow. But on the bright side, I have finally gotten my letter today on the Edusave Scholarship! Yay! But I still have to wait for the other letter which has the details of the ceremony, oh bother. My family came back from Bangkok, Thailand yesterday, and I actually miss having my grandma staying with me and having the house to myself. But they bought a lot of stuffs for me, especially my mum, buying pajamas, chocolate, shirts, a bag and my favourite, a crab patterned hanky!

Some facts about me

I'm a daydreamer,
I have very limited creativity,
I admire creative, smart, talented or sociable people,
I have an elder sister who is really sociable, unlike me,
I always regret my actions, or the lack of it,
I am a Singaporean,
I hate the computer,
I love to watch TV,
I'm a homebody,
I am afraid of lightning, thunder, heights, balloons, dark, death, the waves and many more,
Waves scares me as I get a headache if I watched them, I'm scared that I'll drown
I can't stand horrible spellings or short forms
I'm an introvert
I love Physics and Math, maybe Chemistry and Biology too, but I don't take Biology,
I can't do geography,
I want to be an arts person, but my whole family is more towards the Maths and Science,
In my family, I'm the worst at Maths, but the best at Science,
I have strong emotions, though I tend to only show it to my family,
Sometimes, I feel torn apart by my emotions,
I want to study law and/or Science,
I want to be a lawyer, judge or Scientist,
I want to remain as a young child forever and never to grow old,
Equality and justice is important to me,
I want to have an elder brother,
I'm bad at sports,
I love food,
I dislike people who only follow trends, such as fashion trends,
I hate following trends,
I love berms,
Lying is the worst thing for me,
I can be selfish, though I try not to,
I dislike people who say that they want to be themselves, yet they follow trends,
I love doing Sudoku, word search
I give in to temptation and pressure easily,
I don't know how to handle stressful situations,
I always feel like sleeping when I'm studying,
I love reading books, because they occupy my empty mind and allow me to go on an adventure.

22/11/13

Wow, I have been reading other people blogs, some whom I know the blogger, some just blogs that interest me. It has made me think about my life, compared to theirs, I do lead a simple plain life. Really, I do. I have read about hard breakups, strained relationships and whatnots, and when I compare them to my life, my life is so much more carefree. The only relationships I have are those with my family and friends, never handling one that involves so much love, commitment and passion.

Anyways, on a lighter note, have in mention how time flies? It has been around 2 weeks since intensives ended and my guzheng grading exam is in a week time. And I haven't even completed any homework! My family is leaving for Bangkok, Thailand, tomorrow evening and I'll be left at home as I gave up this trip as it will clash with CCA and if I didn't go for CCA, I'll get toasted. Literally, mental toast. So today I went for CCA, reaching at 9.20am plus, though CCA starts at 10. I saw my dear friend, E, who I last saw a week back when we watched Thor together with a few others. So, she wishes me luck for CCA, knowing how much I dread it, yet she could still tease me about it. Curse her! So, CCA lasted until 5 plus, and I was so tired, I almost slept during CCA.

Searching the Soul

I see myself as a 2-D character, really, I'm an introvert and other than that fact, that's not much else that anyone is interested it. Not even myself. I don't like to socialise, I prefer people to approach me. But the saddening thing is, this is a world where people prefers a sociable person, someone who doesn't waits for others to approach them but they approach people. So, base on just this statement, I'm not that popular, am I? To me, I see my world as a plain and boring one, one that needs your own boundless imagination and fantasies to add colour to the world that we live in. I have my own fantasies, but let's just say I'm not very imaginative, shall we? My world revolves around books, TVs, CCA, study, FOOD and my own fantasies, there's not much colour in sight. I really do admire those who are really sociable, yet I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy whenever I think too deeply into it. Oh gosh, my flaws are too dramatic and big for me to handle.

Bored stiff yet again

It's really a boring day! I have no idea how much worser it can become, can it even become even worser? Yesterday, I just spent my entire day at CCA in school from 10am till 5 plus. Worse still, I boarded the wrong bus to school. When we went out for lunch it started raining and oh, what a coincidence, I was wearing someone else's shoe. Of course I got it drenched, now I feel terrible. What's more, out of the 8 of us, not one umbrella was to be seen, so we just ran in the rain. After CCA, I was supposed to meet my friend at nex shopping centre on the way to the bus interchange with Vic, whom I promised to go together with, yet I was informed that she had really bad migraine. So, in the end, I was unable to go home with Vic nor pass that girl her homework. And today? I'm just staying at home waiting for time to pass until 2.20pm where I'll meet D at the nearby CC to pass her my family's contribution for the Philippines' typhoon survivors. Really got to pray for them...

Our BRAIN

Our brain is indeed very special! My sister took off the plastic laptop keys protector thing from her laptop as she found it irritating and obstructing her easiness of typing. I, being the annoying and bored little sister, took it and pretended that I was typing away on my own laptop. I typed my name, without any reference to the real laptop keys, and found that as if my fingers had its own brains, they moved without me thinking, knowing where the alphabets where located, though not exactly- maybe a few keys off? You should try it if you have the protector too! I also found out that the more we try to remember something, the more we'll forget it. An example is that such of me trying to remember to write 'without' in a card to my beloved sister, yet I ended up writing what I least wanted, a 'with'. What an irony! See, our brain is so twisted in a weird yet interesting kind of way... By the way, in case you're wondering, yes, I want to be a Scientist in the future. Or maybe a lawyer...

What about Life?

What is the definition of life? That was the question I came across while watching TV today. It was a program where a man is trying to sell some encyclopedias to a school teacher and the teacher asks, 'Does it say what is life?'
At this point, I thought to myself, it is what you think it is. There is no real definition of life, though if you search it on the Internet, the answer is 42. Life is a matter of perspectives, the angle that you as an individual sees it. I may see life as enjoyable and precious, yet there are some people out there who sees it as tough. But then it leads to the question: What is the main purpose of life?
Let's not look at it from a religious point of view. I've yet to reach the point where I find my purpose. But for now, all I can ever ask myself and the world, what's the point of having obstacles to make us tougher in life when it is okay to not have any challenges in our life and be tougher when we don't need that toughness? Remember, I'm still learning, so I may give a child point of view most of the time.

Just some jigsaw pieces on my life

Today, I'm really in the mood for blogging, I guess it is because I realise I actually have viewers (Maybe this have some problems so I'm my blog's only viewer? I hope not.)  So, I guess I'll be posting about my thoughts on my school since I don't have any 'deep' thoughts today... I come from an all girls Methodist school and have been in it for almost nine years already. It's actually divided into a Primary and Secondary school, and I joined this Secondary school so that I can follow my elder sister. My subject combination is also the same as hers, just that she takes Pure History and Elective Literature, while I, the opposite. It was because my year didn't offer her combination. I totally love my current school, because it has provided me with many opportunities to learn and grow into a leader as well as a young lady. I'm serving in the role of a prefect currently, though I'm limited as I'm not a Christian and the Prefectorial Board is always going about bringing Glory to His Name.
So enough about all these, the bottom line is that I really enjoy school, but the recent intensives, held during the holidays specially for those preparing for the O'Levels, was so tiring! Each day lasted from 8am to 3.40pm and on Tuesdays and Fridays, there was still CCA until 6pm. It was actually aound the same time as a normal school day, yet I don't know why it was so tiring. I almost slept during Add Maths, Chinese, History and E Maths. Thank goodness it have already ended last Thursday. But there's still CCA to worry about...
How about you? How's your daily life/ school like?

Bored? Read a book!

Here are some books that I recommend:
1. Divergent by Veronica Roth
2. My Double Life by Janette Rallison
3. Clockwork Prince by Cassendra Claire
4. The Best of Foxtrot by Bill Amend
Wish I could show you the pictures... But I can't upload here.

CCA in the Holidays; Never an ideal one for me

I had a bad day today, not that I should be complaining... It started out all rainy and cold yet I was forced to get up at 7.45am so that I can leave for school at 8.45am. It probably is ridiculous for me to get up so early! I had CCA which makes the day even worse. This rainy day where it is suppose to be my holiday, my sleep-in day, yet CCA starts at10am. We had a horrible test, where I played horribly and no doubt nor surprise, failed. (My CCA is guzheng) It was supposed to end at 12 noon, of which would be followed by a lunch date with my good friend of 9 years, let's just call her D. But, of course, that only happens in dreams, we ended at 5pm, by the end of it all, we were so tired. Then one thing led to another and I found out that I was going to miss this year's Sec 4 farewell! It's such a pity... While we waited for D and another friend, J, to discuss about the Sec 4 farewell, a few of us discussed about our subject combination, mine being Pure Physics and Chemistry, Pure Literature, Elective History and Social Studies and Additional Maths, where I boast about my wonderful A1 in History brought up my SS grade from to C5 to B3, and teasing a friend, V, about History being way better than Geography. Then it led to class position, my favourite topic, yet I know that it is a bit hurtful to others whenever I reveal mine. So I guess we just have to tell a white lie... So tomorrow is a great day for I have no school. But I'll probably be bored and do some rope skipping and reading at home. Oh well, so much for the holidays. I still have tons of homework to finish, maybe I should start with the simplest, English.

Just getting started

Sometimes, I wonder what exactly makes a person alive. It's not your heart that makes you alive, for when you look at the heart individually at itself, it is unable to beat, thus it is not alive. I've once read that what makes you alive is an idea. An idea of you. It doesn't seem that way to me. Because, I'll then wonder what makes that idea alive. Is it because of a person's thoughts, or simply his character? I guess it is much more complex than that, there is something, really unknown to us that makes us alive. Take for example, would you rather talk to a dead man or an alive man? It is obvious that the choice is that of an alive man, for realistic and practical reasons. It is because the living man is able to respond, to comment, to listen, but a dead man cannot. In the same way, communicating with an idea does not make us alive, nor does it make us dead, it merely makes us a noun, an indication to others that we exists. An idea does not comment or listen, but it does respond. So what exactly makes us alive?